Homage to the Egg

Last night we whisked the last 5 eggs we had left and tipped them happily into a frying pan sizzling with onion, bacon, roasted peppers and sliced potato where they settled into the gaps and fluffed up into a yummy tortilla. We sprinkled herbs from the garden, paprika and mature cheddar on the top, flashed it under a hot grill for a few minutes then cut it into wedges and enjoyed it with some freshly-picked salad leaves. It was one of those meals that makes you feel terribly smug cos you haven't had to go out and buy anything for it and boy was it tasty.  This kind of dish is perfect cold or at room temperature too and it's a very popular dish in Spanish tapas bars.  The Italian version is called frittata - either way it's delicious.  But little did we know that this feast of rural egginess might have been the last one we had of its kind .....

Fast-forward to 10.30pm. After guffawing and cringeing in equal measure to an episode of Fawlty Towers ("the Psychiatrist" in case you wanted to know) we snuggled down and soon husband was snoring lustily and I was stuffing in the orange foam earplugs to drown out the manly rumbles ...when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter (thank you Clement Clark Moore).... actually, it was husband who leapt out of bed like a coiled spring whilst I fell out of bed unceremoniously and disorientatedly whilst trying to extract the plugs - they had gone in a bit too far - and wondered what the heck was going on at 2.30am. The window was flung open and soon it became clear that the thing we most dreaded happening was taking place on the patio. This was no Saint Nick and Eight Tiny Reindeer prancing sweetly in our garden, but our chicks being attacked in their beds by an unidentified and evil Creature ... We rushed downstairs in our T-shirts and pants, our beloved Colin and Dave squawking and flapping in terror amidst the sounds of wood being scratched and pummelled by the Predator. It disappeared over the fence as soon as we opened the back door - luckily from the catty squealing noises heard amongst the chaos it seemed not to be a fox unless it had problems with its vocal cords. Garden lights went on and we could see that a break-in of major proportions had happened. The circular airhole (about 2-3 inches across) in the end hatch of the ark had been used shamelessly as an access point for a paw which had gone in, levered a horizontal plank of wood right off the door and thereby created plenty of room to get the whole arm in, the claws out and so attack the innocently dozing chicks inside.  They were cowering at the back clucking frantically when we arrived and there were feathers everywhere - the damage had been done. It was awful seeing those feathers and hearing the distressing cries for help from our little Adorables. We plucked them out of their nests in some trepidation, checked them over  - no blood thank goodness and surprisingly no visible bald bits considering the volume of debris outside on the patio. Other clumps of feathers were found on the grass showing the exit route of the Creature to the fence.

After a quick cuddle the chicks zigzagged woefully towards the house in the dim light and perched wearily under the laurel tree together looking up at me for reassurance while husband raided the shed for tools, spare bits of wood and wire. I chatted to the victims while he fixed the broken door and put strengthening batons over the door and a bit of old fireguard mesh over the breathing hole so nothing like this could happen again. It wasn't long before Dave dozed off in the corner, chirruping in her sleep - interestingly the smaller of the two, Colin, stayed watching guard with me on the deck, quite alert despite the dim light and she burbled all the while to Dave who answered her dreamily. Eventually it was time to gather them up and bundle them back to bed - Dave fell asleep again halfway through the door and we had to prise her foot off the doorframe to get her in but they were all safe and sound in the new Fort Chix.

Phew! Could have done without that. By the time we crawled back into bed it was 3.30am and it took a while for the adrenalin to subside. This morning the chicks appeared to have forgotten all about their traumatic ordeal - one good side-effect of having such a tiny brain seems to be that one can't remember to harbour grudges - and have been as happy as anything running around the garden with no discernible limps or lasting damage. But they're getting extra sweetcorn and kale from me today as a treat for being such brave little soldiers... and they both laid huge eggs this morning, the shells strong and smooth with no crinkly bits at all - we had heard that often after a shock the eggs can emerge very misshapen.

So this post is dedicated to the humble egg and its amazing origins. They are so nutritious and versatile and if you get eggs from happy hens (or ducks, quails, geese or ostriches!), super-tasty and colourful. Apart from omelettes and the breakfast/brunch side of things they are a vital part of so many dishes from around the world. Without them there would be no mayonnaise, hollandaise or meringues, nor a decent cake. Macaroons wouldn't exist, nor biscotti and that would make sitting in an Italian cafe so much less fun.  There would be no custard or decent ice-cream, no mousses or zabaglione, no cheesecake, creme brulee or bread and butter pudding. Not to mention an absence of pancakes or Yorkshire pudding, aagh! The world would be a sorrier place without eggs therein, let's face it.  

Egg-fried rice makes a great meal in itself with a few tasty additions - fry a chopped onion and some garlic in a hot wok with a little Chinese Five Spice powder, throw in a handful of frozen peas and maybe a few prawns. Add 150g cooked basmati rice and a couple of lightly whisked eggs and you have a wonderful bowl of Oriental yumminess. Or split it between two of you as an accompaniment to stirfried chicken and vegetables - just marinate a couple of chopped chicken breasts in soy sauce, honey, ginger, garlic, orange zest and chilli for an hour or so in the fridge, fry quickly over a high heat with some onion in a teaspoon of sesame oil, add a small bag of stirfry veg and toss it all about for a few minutes. Serve with the salty, sticky, spicy sauce soaking into the rice. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds for extra crunch if you like.  Tasty, easy, quick and nutritious - and pretty economical too.  

You'll never starve if you have a few eggs in the house ...

Happy cooking!

AMT